to haiku: Thanks haiku. I agree that the optimal expiation process for different Enneagram types might be quite different. Being an 8 -- one of the three optimist types with a core fear of weakness or vulnerability -- expiatory writing for me involves connecting with any feelings of weakness or vulnerability within me, and then embracing them. This is because in my normal state, my mind keeps telling me that I'm strong and invulnerable. For a 6 -- whose mind keeps telling him he's insecure and fearful -- probably some process like you describe in your comment would be more effective. If you have the time, perhaps you could try clicking the "Respond with an experience of yours" link, then click the Recipe icon, then enter a Recipe of yours for expiation. It will look different than mine, which is wonderful. At some point we can collect the various approaches that members submit and collect them all in a Condition that could serve as a menu for people looking for expiatory approaches.
to drLove: Peter, drLove..."expiation" is a part of letting go, of surrender. For me, the question is whether I can do so without smearing "nasty shit" on others in the process. How does one "share" the pain without distributing the suffering (many religions and spiritual practices ask for a personal commitment to be pro-active in easing human suffering)? I'm thinking a 2-step process...the first writing being the excretion, or expiation. Relieve yourself of the "shit"...then flush it, burn it, let it go. The second writing would be a "post mortem" (with more objectivity perhaps?)...what happened? what was the process? what did we learn? what are we going to do about it? what additional resources do we need at this point? That, you share.
It's also interesting to note that we have comments from 3 different "types" (from the Enneagram)...each of whom might experience grief uniquely. You might have to encourage a 1, or a 5, to express their grief and share it...while it might be healthier for a 2, let's say, to internalize it and savor it first. Anger will not be the first emotion that pops up for everyone.
to drLove: I agree. And given that Holonation is anonymous, this might be easier for many members. I mean, even the site doesn't know who the members are since the site doesn't even collect the name of the members. So unless a member tells us his or her identity, he/she stays anonymous. This seems like a useful precondition for many people to share their expiatory writings.
to drLove: Thanks. On the last paragraph, yeah I see your point. But if we let the negative feelings that commonly accompany personal tragedies sit inside ourselves for some time, they do us harm. So that why I call them "this nasty shit". But yeah, when we write them up and send them out, the nasty smell goes away.
A light bulb just went off for me!! I think Holonation could be a a wonderful therapeutic vehicle in and of itself for people to come to internal peace. I would love for people to use it in this way because I really enjoy reading heartfelt stories of other people. I am always inspired. As well it would be highly expiatory (is that a word?) for the writer.
I really enjoyed reading this testimony. All except for the last paragraph with which I disagree. I would prefer not to judge personal pain/tragedies as "nasty shit". And that "stinky" paper in my eyes, is not "stinky" at all. It's golden paper. It's gold because it "reeks" of authenticity; of vulnerability; of a type of openness only found when we have come to some incredible lucidity and clarity of the events we have experienced and want to share it. I think the spoken or written word (we have more time to think about what we want to say when we are writing however), expressed without reservation is love in motion.
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to peter: Peter...thanks for the suggestion, I think having a collection of recipes for dealing with grief is a great idea.
to haiku: Thanks haiku. I agree that the optimal expiation process for different Enneagram types might be quite different. Being an 8 -- one of the three optimist types with a core fear of weakness or vulnerability -- expiatory writing for me involves connecting with any feelings of weakness or vulnerability within me, and then embracing them. This is because in my normal state, my mind keeps telling me that I'm strong and invulnerable. For a 6 -- whose mind keeps telling him he's insecure and fearful -- probably some process like you describe in your comment would be more effective. If you have the time, perhaps you could try clicking the "Respond with an experience of yours" link, then click the Recipe icon, then enter a Recipe of yours for expiation. It will look different than mine, which is wonderful. At some point we can collect the various approaches that members submit and collect them all in a Condition that could serve as a menu for people looking for expiatory approaches.
to drLove: Peter, drLove..."expiation" is a part of letting go, of surrender. For me, the question is whether I can do so without smearing "nasty shit" on others in the process. How does one "share" the pain without distributing the suffering (many religions and spiritual practices ask for a personal commitment to be pro-active in easing human suffering)? I'm thinking a 2-step process...the first writing being the excretion, or expiation. Relieve yourself of the "shit"...then flush it, burn it, let it go. The second writing would be a "post mortem" (with more objectivity perhaps?)...what happened? what was the process? what did we learn? what are we going to do about it? what additional resources do we need at this point? That, you share. It's also interesting to note that we have comments from 3 different "types" (from the Enneagram)...each of whom might experience grief uniquely. You might have to encourage a 1, or a 5, to express their grief and share it...while it might be healthier for a 2, let's say, to internalize it and savor it first. Anger will not be the first emotion that pops up for everyone.
to drLove: I agree. And given that Holonation is anonymous, this might be easier for many members. I mean, even the site doesn't know who the members are since the site doesn't even collect the name of the members. So unless a member tells us his or her identity, he/she stays anonymous. This seems like a useful precondition for many people to share their expiatory writings.
to drLove: Thanks. On the last paragraph, yeah I see your point. But if we let the negative feelings that commonly accompany personal tragedies sit inside ourselves for some time, they do us harm. So that why I call them "this nasty shit". But yeah, when we write them up and send them out, the nasty smell goes away.
A light bulb just went off for me!! I think Holonation could be a a wonderful therapeutic vehicle in and of itself for people to come to internal peace. I would love for people to use it in this way because I really enjoy reading heartfelt stories of other people. I am always inspired. As well it would be highly expiatory (is that a word?) for the writer.
I really enjoyed reading this testimony. All except for the last paragraph with which I disagree. I would prefer not to judge personal pain/tragedies as "nasty shit". And that "stinky" paper in my eyes, is not "stinky" at all. It's golden paper. It's gold because it "reeks" of authenticity; of vulnerability; of a type of openness only found when we have come to some incredible lucidity and clarity of the events we have experienced and want to share it. I think the spoken or written word (we have more time to think about what we want to say when we are writing however), expressed without reservation is love in motion.